2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
