how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
