i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize