respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
