Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
