I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
