how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
