Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There are leaves in my underwear?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
