That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
