So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
