just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
