found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
