Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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