sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I use my feet as sexual weapons
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
