lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
