1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I could make wine with my vomit
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
