so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
