so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
