brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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