Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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