maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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