last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
