You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
