Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
should my penis look like a turkey
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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