Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
