I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
