Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
