literally had 100 drinks last night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
