OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
