Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just cropdusted the office
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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