today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
