His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
