who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
