$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
