you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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