okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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