LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
