this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
