Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
