i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
