Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
