so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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