i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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