Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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