She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
