see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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