At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
