Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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