I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
