If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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