Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
