I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Im part way to drunk.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
