I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Randomize
