U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
